Defining surnames for Malayali women

One of my cousins recently married and added her husband's surname to the surnames of her father and our grandmother, which already follow her name. Although this is a common practice of Malayali Christians, her decision has made me question why people add names to express identity and respect. Like many women, my cousin is socially obliged to show public appreciation for her husband and new family, but I want to explore the other motives that underlie her decision.

Most Malayali women take on their husbands' surnames, as done throughout south Indian communities, in which the practice is common. They are morally compelled to do so, and few challenge the practice because they do not want to launch a fight for individual identity that could earn them the reputation of rebels. Thus women move from their father's household to their husband's, demonstrating allegiance and surrendering autonomous will to each patriarch. The social identity of these women is recognized in relation to the men of their families, and their first names do not play an important role in identifying them.

Many people believe that the custom of adding a husband's name is important because it protects family identity, particularly children, whose place in society frequently depends on the father's acknowledgment. Although there are Malayali women who do not favor this idea, most support it under pressure, which begs the question: How would a Malayali Christian bride announce to family members, including her in-laws, a plan to defy the practice and retain her name unencumbered?

Not easily since this is a plan that, if accomplished, would mark the woman for life with questions concerning her integrity and marital status. University surveys have shown that many respondents believe women should add their husbands' surnames to express commitment. With popular belief still favoring this, it is no surprise that people often criticize women who keep their names unchanged after marriage.

Most Malayali Christians would condemn a woman's attempt to keep only her father's surname upon marriage. Some would even consider the act a legal transgression, which it is not. The Times of India quotes Darius Khambata, advocate general of Maharashtra, as saying the following: “The wife has a fundamental right under Article 21 of the Constitution of India to use any name including her married name, notwithstanding the fact that her marriage has been dissolved, provided her husband has no objection.”

Interestingly, although married women are socially pressured to use their husbands' names, divorced women can only retain their previous husbands' names with permission (the rule applies equally throughout Indian society). By default the laws concerning names also affect a woman's ability to handle documents and bank accounts. I know of one woman, however, who defied the barriers when she added her name as a maiden name to her child's name, and her husband's as the child's surname, thus giving the child a hyphenated surname comprised of two names.

The woman, her husband and their families clearly stand on the progressive side of life and follow their own rules, which violate no law, except the moral code of Malayali Christian tradition. They are a lucky bunch because most women who dare to follow suit would face a barrage of condemnation from their families and neighbors, and risk losing social or material inheritance.

A woman's right to make choices should precede the form of her name, and her identity should not depend on her relation to men. Whether or not a woman uses her husband's surname should not guide the way people perceive her and how society frames her status. Some women may genuinely enjoy having their husbands' surnames; other women may wish different. Professional and aesthetic reasons may also guide women's choices when choosing a name. Whatever the reasons behind name adaptation after marriage, none should follow strict tradition that removes the power of choice from women.

Rinzu Rajan prepared this text with assistance from e-feminist staff.